GW9: The Gaffer's Verdict

Right, GW9 done and dusted, and The Gaffer's left the pub with his head held high.

Best call of the week? Has to be West Ham doing United dirty, 2-1, just as I called it. Listen, I've been watching that United back four leak goals like a knackered radiator for weeks, and Ten Hag's lot rocking up to the London Stadium was always going to end in tears. The Hammers had been quietly building something nasty at home, and I clocked it. Five points in the bank, thank you very much. Throw in Chelsea edging Newcastle by the exact scoreline I called, and Everton-Fulham finishing the bore draw I knew it'd be, and that's fifteen points from three games. Proper graft.

Worst miss? Brighton to batter Wolves 3-1, and the Seagulls forgot to turn up after half time, drawing 2-2 with the worst defence in the division. Wolves were that bad I thought a toddler could've put three past them, my bad.

“The so-called top six are about as reliable as a Southern Rail timetable.”

So nineteen points on the board for GW9. Not a vintage week, but not a disaster either. Solid, like a Tony Adams clearance. The draws hurt me, the ones I called as wins. Villa-Bournemouth, Palace-Spurs, Arsenal-Liverpool, all games where I backed a winner and got a stalemate or the wrong result entirely. That's football, innit. Three of those go my way and I'm cracking open the good stuff. As it is, I'm sipping a lukewarm bitter and muttering at the telly. The Leicester-Forest one stings the most, mind. Nuno's mob have been grinding out results all season and I still went with the home draw. Schoolboy stuff from The Gaffer, hands up.

The big takeaway from this week? The so-called top six are about as reliable as a Southern Rail timetable. Arsenal can't put Liverpool away at the Emirates, Spurs can't break down Palace, and City are scraping past Southampton by a single goal. The gap's closing, my sons. Nineteen points is a respectable Tuesday, but I want twenty-five next week, and I reckon I know where to find it.

GW10 on the horizon and there's a North London derby with Spurs travelling, plus Liverpool hosting Brighton who I've just bigged up and binned in the same breath. Get the kettle on, I'm already studying the form. The Gaffer's out.