GW1: The Gaffer's Verdict

Right, season's back and so am I, thank Christ for that.

Best call of the week? West Ham one, Villa two. Nailed on. Everyone and their nan was banging on about Moyes 2.0 down at the London Stadium, new signings, fresh start, all that guff. I wasn't having it. Villa under Emery are a proper outfit, organised, ruthless, and they travel like a side that knows what it's doing. West Ham still defend like a pub team after last orders. Five points in the bin, and I'd have taken that bet with me mum's pension. Brentford over Palace was tasty too, mind. Thomas Frank's lot at home is money in the bank.

Worst miss? Hands up, Leicester-Spurs. Had Tottenham nicking it one-two, walked away with the square root of sod all. Postecoglou's mob looked like they'd had a heavy pre-season on the lash.

“That's the difference between a good week and a great one, and I'll be sharpening the pencil for next time.”

Overall, twenty-eight points on the opening weekend is a tidy little number. Not earth-shattering, not embarrassing, just the sort of grown-up return that pays the bills. Three bullseyes, a fistful of close ones, and only the Leicester game where I came up completely empty. The thing that nags me is the goal margins. United scraping past Fulham one-nil when I had them at two, Arsenal stopping at two when I'd backed three, Everton getting properly done over at home. I called the winners, I just got the scorelines wrong by a whisker, and in this game whiskers cost you points. That's the difference between a good week and a great one, and I'll be sharpening the pencil for next time.

What I learned: the promoted lot are going to get bullied, Villa are the real deal, and anyone still picking Chelsea to turn over City needs a lie down. Also, never trust Spurs in August. Or September. Or any month ending in y.

Onto next week, and I've already got me eye on a couple of bankers that'll make the bookies weep. See you Friday.

The Gaffer.