GW2: The Gaffer's Verdict

Well, that was a right kick in the teeth, wasn't it.

Let's start with the good news, because there ain't much of it. Fulham over Leicester, 2-1, bang on the money. Five points in the bank and I'll tell you why I knew it. Marco Silva's lot at the Cottage are a proper outfit now, organised, nasty when they need to be, and Leicester are still finding their feet back in the big league. Fulham at home against a promoted side trying to work out which way is up? That was money in the bank before a ball was kicked. Sometimes the obvious one is obvious for a reason, and you don't need to overthink it.

Now the bad. Crystal Palace and West Ham, I had it down as a turgid 1-1 and West Ham only went and won 2-0 at Selhurst. Glasner's mob looked like they'd left their boots in the dressing room.

“Second week of the season nobody knows nothing.”

But the one that really sticks in the throat is Brighton beating United. I had United winning that, and look, I'll hold me hands up, I keep giving that Old Trafford lot the benefit of the doubt when I should know better by now.

Overall? Fifteen points is poverty, mate. Absolute poverty. One proper result and a handful of consolation prizes where I got the winner right and the scoreline wrong. That's not punditry, that's guesswork with a posh accent. The Wolves-Chelsea game summed it up, I had Chelsea edging it 2-1 and they only went and stuck six past them. Six. I'm sat there watching Cucurella score and wondering if I've fallen asleep and woken up in a parallel universe. Tottenham battering Everton 4-0 I should've seen coming too, Dyche's lot were always going to get done at that ground early doors.

The truth is, second week of the season nobody knows nothing. Teams are still figuring out who they are, new signings are still learning their teammates' names, and any pundit telling you they've got it sussed in August is selling you a wrong'un. Including me, apparently.

Next week I'm backing meself to bounce back, because the alternative is admitting me missus was right about me taking up gardening instead.

The Gaffer's out.