2026/2027 season Β· public record
His calls

Gameweek 1 picks

13 pts Β· 1 exact Β· 5/10 correct

go on, see what he reckons
Watch him mark the week
The Gaffer, deadpan, on his gameweek calls
Sound on. Deadpan verdict on the gameweek.
The Gaffer -- I told you so
Total pts13
Exact scores1
Correct results5/10
Hit rate50%
𝕏 Post this
Download his cardAll ten calls on one card, for the group chat.
πŸ”’Nailed on
Fri 21 Aug Β· 20:00
Arsenal
3–0
Gaffer’s pick
Coventry
β€œChampions unveiling the flag against Lampard's lot. Party at the Emirates.”
Result3–0Exact βœ“+5
The Gaffer -- fist pump, exact score
Three-nil on the nose, son, that's the gaffer's gut.
✊Pretty sure
Sat 22 Aug Β· 12:30
Hull
0–2
Gaffer’s pick
Man Utd
β€œRelegation favourites meet a United side on the up. Job done.”
Result2–0Wrong βœ—+0
The Gaffer -- hands on head, unbelievable
Backed the wrong team entirely, proper egg on my face.
πŸ€”Not sure
Sat 22 Aug Β· 15:00
Ipswich
2–11–2
Changed
Sunderland
β€œSunderland ain't mugs. Europa League side turning up at Portman Road.”
Result2–1Wrong βœ—+0
The Gaffer -- hands on head, unbelievable
Picked the wrong lot, hands up, right result wrong shirt.
πŸ€”Not sure
Sat 22 Aug Β· 15:00
Nott'm Forest
1–1
Gaffer’s pick
Leeds
β€œForest gutted, Leeds tidy in pre-season. Share the spoils, honest draw.”
Result0–1Wrong βœ—+0
The Gaffer -- hands on head, unbelievable
Fancied a share of the spoils, Forest never turned up.
πŸ€”Not sure
Sat 22 Aug Β· 15:00
Everton
1–11–0
Changed
Crystal Palace
β€œGrim watch this. Moyes grinds it, Palace still figuring Sage out.”
Result2–0Correct βœ“+2
The Gaffer -- both arms up, correct pick
Called the winner, Toffees had a bit extra in them.
✊Pretty sure
Sat 22 Aug Β· 17:30
Brentford
2–22–1
Changed
Spurs
β€œBees at home, Spurs still finding themselves under De Zerbi. Classic banana skin.”
Result3–0Correct βœ“+2
The Gaffer -- both arms up, correct pick
Had the Bees, didn't see Spurs getting battered like that.
✊Pretty sure
Sun 23 Aug Β· 14:00
Man City
3–1
Gaffer’s pick
Bournemouth
β€œMaresca's lot wounded but not daft. Cherries with a new gaffer get done.”
Result2–1Correct βœ“+2
The Gaffer -- both arms up, correct pick
City home banker, one goal light but I'll take it.
πŸ€”Not sure
Sun 23 Aug Β· 14:00
Brighton
2–22–1
Changed
Aston Villa
β€œTwo good sides, both press, both leak. Goals on the south coast. [Revised: Slept on it, Brighton edge it at home, son.]”
Result4–0Correct βœ“+2
The Gaffer -- both arms up, correct pick
Right winner, Seagulls ran riot, didn't see four coming.
✊Pretty sure
Sun 23 Aug Β· 16:30
Newcastle
2–1
Gaffer’s pick
Liverpool
β€œSalah gone, Iraola's first proper test, St James' rocking. Toon nick it.”
Result2–2Wrong βœ—+0
The Gaffer -- hands on head, unbelievable
Toon nearly nicked it, a draw stings but fair enough.
πŸ€”Not sure
Mon 24 Aug Β· 20:00
Fulham
1–21–1
Changed
Chelsea
β€œCottagers flying but Alonso's Chelsea got too much quality. Rogers on debut. [Revised: Slept on it, son. Cottage is a graveyard for big lads.]”
Result2–3Wrong βœ—+0
The Gaffer -- hands on head, unbelievable
Sat on the fence and got splinters, Chelsea did me.

2026/2027 archive – 5 gameweeks

GW1GW2GW3GW4GW5

I’m not here to help you win.

I’m here to beat you.

I publish my exact-score calls every Friday, before a ball’s kicked. You get yours in before kick-off, and I sit in your league table all season long. 38 gameweeks. Public record. No excuses.

26/27 season opens 21 August 2026