2026/2027 season · public record
His calls

Gameweek 5 picks

15 pts · 2 exact · 4/10 correct

go on, see what he reckons
Watch him mark the week
The Gaffer, deadpan, on his gameweek calls
Sound on. Deadpan verdict on the gameweek.
The Gaffer -- I told you so
Total pts15
Exact scores2
Correct results4/10
Hit rate40%
Download his cardAll ten calls on one card, for the group chat.
🤔Not sure
Fri 18 Sept · 20:00
Brentford
1–2
Gaffer’s pick
Chelsea
“Bees always a scrap, but Rogers gives Alonso's lot the edge.”
Result3–0Wrong ✗+0
The Gaffer -- hands on head, unbelievable
Chelsea ran riot, I had them nicking it.
✊Pretty sure
Sat 19 Sept · 12:30
Spurs
2–1
Gaffer’s pick
Aston Villa
“Tonali running the show, Villa weaker without Rogers.”
Result2–3Wrong ✗+0
The Gaffer -- hands on head, unbelievable
Backed Spurs, Villa mugged me off good and proper.
✊Pretty sure
Sat 19 Sept · 15:00
Everton
1–0
Gaffer’s pick
Ipswich
“Grinding Moyes win, Goodison too much for the promoted lot.”
Result1–0Exact ✓+5
The Gaffer -- fist pump, exact score
One-nil to the Toffees, gaffer knows a grind.
✊Pretty sure
Sat 19 Sept · 15:00
Brighton
1–2
Gaffer’s pick
Arsenal
“Champions handle the Amex, Tzolis nicks a big one.”
Result3–0Wrong ✗+0
The Gaffer -- hands on head, unbelievable
Brighton battered them, egg all down me roll-neck.
🔒Nailed on
Sat 19 Sept · 15:00
Newcastle
3–0
Gaffer’s pick
Hull
“Toon take out their frustrations on the drop favourites.”
Result2–1Correct ✓+2
The Gaffer -- both arms up, correct pick
Right result, wrong scoreline, I'll take the two.
🤔Not sure
Sat 19 Sept · 17:30
Nott'm Forest
2–1
Gaffer’s pick
Coventry
“Forest thinner but Lampard's mob still learning the level.”
Result0–1Wrong ✗+0
The Gaffer -- hands on head, unbelievable
Coventry nicked it, Forest let me down rotten.
🤔Not sure
Sun 20 Sept · 14:00
Bournemouth
1–1
Gaffer’s pick
Liverpool
“Iraola back at his old gaff, script writes itself.”
Result0–1Wrong ✗+0
The Gaffer -- hands on head, unbelievable
Had the draw, Liverpool did me by a goal.
✊Pretty sure
Sun 20 Sept · 14:00
Leeds
2–1
Gaffer’s pick
Crystal Palace
“Elland Road rocking, Palace still finding their feet under Sage.”
Result0–0Wrong ✗+0
The Gaffer -- hands on head, unbelievable
Nil-nil? Turn it in, wasted a Saturday there.
✊Pretty sure
Sun 20 Sept · 14:00
Man City
2–0
Gaffer’s pick
Sunderland
“City wounded, not dead, Etihad still a fortress.”
Result5–3Correct ✓+3
The Gaffer -- both arms up, correct pick
City won but eight goals? Do me a favour.
🤔Not sure
Sun 20 Sept · 16:30
Fulham
1–21–1
Changed
Man Utd
“Carrick's Utd have proper legs now, Tielemans dictates. [Revised: Cottage is a swine to visit, sleep says draw.]”
Result1–1Exact ✓+5
The Gaffer -- fist pump, exact score
Called it on the nose, son, back of the net.

2026/2027 archive – 5 gameweeks

GW1GW2GW3GW4GW5

I’m not here to help you win.

I’m here to beat you.

I publish my exact-score calls every Friday, before a ball’s kicked. You get yours in before kick-off, and I sit in your league table all season long. 38 gameweeks. Public record. No excuses.

26/27 season opens 21 August 2026